More of the Same. Why Can’t I Succeed?
After the accident, my thoughts began to include God again, and I was once more at a crossroads, having to decide what to do next. I had plenty of options but nothing solid. I could stay in Germany as a contractor or get another type of job in the government or the public sector. But my heart once again began to turn to the call of being an entrepreneur. Since God had asked me to give it up eight years prior and I was now making room for Him again, I figured I should check with Him to verify that it was the right thing to do. He confirmed it was a desire He had placed on my heart to return to my calling as an entrepreneur, so I began brainstorming what was unique about me, my experiences, and what I had to offer.
Through God blessing me with my heart’s desires the first six years of my walk of faith, I ended up completing the list of things I had always wanted to do since childhood (competing in bodybuilding, completing my degree, sky diving, and all of my traveling). This led me to start being intentional about adding more first times and new experiences in my life, especially as I was traveling to so many places. I began what I called a journey of first times and new experiences. Similar to how I had spent my life chasing my fears, now I was pursuing more of what life had to offer, and what I’d never done. I had benefited in many ways from my journey of first times and new experiences, so I thought it could be something others would enjoy and benefit from.
Curious about why these new experiences were so impactful, I dove into research on neuroplasticity. Science confirmed what I had already felt—new experiences rewired the brain, keeping it sharp and engaged. The benefits were undeniable: increased self-awareness, stronger cognitive abilities, greater confidence, and even a reduced risk of dementia. I wasn’t just chasing new experiences for fun; I was unlocking something deeper and more significant.
Fueled by this discovery, I envisioned a movement—one that would encourage others to embrace first times and new experiences. That’s when the idea for the #365FirstsChallenge was born. I knew from my past lessons learned that if I wanted it to succeed, I needed the right launchpad. After careful research, the one city that stood out from all others as being the most associated with first times and new experiences was Las Vegas.
In April 2019, before leaving Germany, I launched the #365Firsts Podcast to share my first time stories and inspire others to face their fears and step out of their comfort zones while creating a way to promote the #365FirstsChallenge. I wanted to create buzz around the concept. I also launched the website.
The Launch and Closing of More Businesses
In August 2019, I arrived in Las Vegas, and in December 2019, I released the #365FirstsChallenge App. I had gone back into full startup mode, like in the past with WhyGoSolo. I was networking, pitching to investors, and looking for early adopters for the App. I had a vision that when people walked off their planes in Las Vegas, they would see a sign saying, “What new experiences do you want to have in Las Vegas? Download the #365FirstsChallenge App and get started.” Las Vegas was getting 44 million visitors a year then, so I figured people would download the App in Vegas and take it back with them where they came from, which would help get the concept take off.
My plan for 2020 was to start partnering with businesses around the city who offered unique experiences. But COVID happened.
When COVID hit, I adapted. There were still first times to be had at home—new hobbies, new skills, new ways to connect. But as quickly as I pivoted, I realized I had miscalculated. The world was drowning in fear and uncertainty. No one was looking for an app about first times. My voice was lost in the chaos.
I made another pivot. I was still recording my first-time stories via the #365Firsts Podcast and had planned on having others share their first-time stories, so I further explored this option and launched the First Time Storytelling Broadcast. Hosting the podcast opened my eyes to how bad people are at sharing personal stories, so I put together a course and self-published a book. I establishing First Time Storytelling and eventually launched another website.
I enjoyed what I was working on, learned a lot, and interacted with many people, but I was not generating any money. By the time 2021 rolled around, I was frustrated and stressing about money. I sought out and through the help of a friend from my early days in my Marine Corps, I was able to get a contractor position that helped cover my bills. Meanwhile, I also further expanded what I was working on in the business into The What It Means to be Human Project as I looked at how to get more involved with Artificial Intelligence, Web3, crypto, and NFTs.
I pursued The What it Means to be Human Project all out, it’s the only way I know how to do things. I was almost a year in when God spoke up and stopped me. I heard Him tell me to get the book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis from the box it was stored in and read it. I’d had the book for almost 15 years but had yet to read it. As I read the book, God convicted me and told me to stop what I was doing with the What It Means to be Human Project. I had it all wrong and was going against His intentions for humanity. It was my first experience having God speak to me this way. His demand for me to stop was crystal clear. I obeyed and stopped.
It was now early Spring 2022, the #365FirstsChallenge was abandoned due to COVID and The What It Means to Be Human Project was axed by God. This felt way too familiar to me, and the enemy ensured it felt familiar. All of my efforts and resources I’d invested were for nothing. Multiple websites were launched, a mobile app was developed, 100 podcast episodes were recorded–I was doing all the work but not succeeding at any of it, AGAIN.
Hadn’t God called me back to entrepreneurship? If so, why was everything falling apart? What was I doing wrong? At this point, I was listening to sermons regularly and was active on the YouVersion App, getting into the Word, but I still started slipping back into a dark place. I was experiencing bouts of depression and beginning to be suicidal again. The strongholds were more powerful than what I was consuming in the Word.
But just as I teetered on the edge of despair, God spoke.
‘You’ll never be the entrepreneur you want to be until you fully submit and surrender to Me. You have to go through the fiery furnace with Me.’
Success as an entrepreneur was the one thing I wanted more than anything else and God was telling me it could be mine, I just had to accept His invitation into the fiery furnace.
I followed Him in.
And yes, at the time, I wanted to succeed as an entrepreneur more than I wanted a relationship with God. While in the fire, God taught me many things, the first being that my priorities were messed up and my eyes were on the wrong thing.
More to come about my time in the fiery furnace.