God Showed Me I Didn’t Know How to Care About People
Wrong Motives for My Entrepreneurial Ambitions
In order to continue to add context and tie things together, I have to pepper in some personal stories related to understanding God’s revelations and convictions while in and after the fiery furnace. This one, in particular, also links to the calling that’s on my life.
Revelation: The process by which God reveals knowledge of Himself, His will, and His divine providence.
Conviction: A conviction from God, or the Holy Spirit, is a deep awareness or feeling of wrong-doing, often leading to repentance and a desire for change, rather than a feeling of condemnation.
I’m taking us back to Memorial Weekend 2014. I was stationed in Germany, finding myself there two years after giving my life to Jesus, and committed to living a life of faith, albeit in my own strength. It was in this season that God was blessing me beyond anything I could think or imagine.
My first significant revelation came on my second morning there as I stood in a park overlooking the Vltava River and admired the view. It dawned on me that without God I would never have found myself there. There being living in Germany, driving a brand new BMW, and almost done paying off all of my debt from my failed businesses. I was in awe of where I was. Where I was was exactly where I wanted to be.
That’s when I knew that all the businesses I had pursued had been for the wrong reasons. I had fooled myself into thinking they were so I could help people, but in reality, they had been so I would have the freedom and finances to travel.
God revealed He knew me the best, He knew what was best for me, and He would bless me for being obedient. He had blessed me to live in Europe where I had better opportunities to travel than I could have engineered for myself.
Through my obedience of returning to the Marine Corps, althought I hadn’t wanted to, God led me to this billet that afforded me all of these amazing travel opportunities. It was perfect. I worked for some difficult bosses but that allowed me to step fully in my leadership giftings and make a difference.
I remember walking back to my hotel so grateful and praising God.
The problem is, I FORGOT this revelation. Had it been imparted, had it become heart knowledge, I would have avoided the long and painful detour by tapping out of the fiery furnace the first time.
The Man on the Bench – My Heartbreak
The following day, I was once again in a park, a different one. I had my dog with me, hence the walks in the parks.
As we walked down the path, a short distance away, I noticed a man on a bench. His pants were wet. I’m not sure if he was homeless or what his situation was. I just knew I had a foreign and overwhelming desire to help him and get him a new pair of pants.
I was taken aback by my strong need to help him and my inability to get myself to take a step toward him. My head kept saying, “Ann, it’s not that hard.” But my body and heart responded, “We don’t know how to do this.”
I became keenly aware of my limited ability to reach out and connect to other human beings. It wasn’t in my nature. What I desired to do and what I could do conflicted. I didn’t know the first thing about what to do in this type of situation. As I wrestled with myself, God spoke to me.
“Ann, it’s not just that you can’t. It’s that up until now, you haven’t cared to.”
My heart broke. I knew God was right. I cared about my Marines, getting the job done, outcomes, and results. Outside of that, I didn’t invest in, commit to, or care about people—not in the way most people do and definitely not in the way God does. I knew God cared about the man on the bench, which is why He had put him on my heart.
I eventually began weeping—for me, for the man, for being how I was. I turned away from him and started walking back to the hotel as I prayed, “God, teach me how to care; teach me how to help those in need.” I didn’t say it, but I was really praying, “God, make me more like Jesus.”
“God, make me more like Jesus” is a dangerous prayer to pray. It’s one I’ve been praying every day for two years, it’s asking for that, that I know keep leading to more challenging circumstances because that’s the only way to become more like Jesus.
The Revelation
God brought those two moments back to my remembrance while in the fiery furnace. He showed me how the first realization was not only to highlight His blessings and goodness but that He knows best. He knew the motives behind my past businesses had been wrong.
The following day, He showed me what my motive (loving people) needed to be for my businesses. That moment in the park launched my journey into becoming a personal storyteller, which has gone a long way towards getting me to open up, be vulnerable, and start connecting with people; however, I would discover I had quite a ways to go towards learning to develop relationships and having the heart of Jesus for others.
He ultimately showed me I was not yet the person I needed to be to run the businesses He had for me.
As I was in the fiery furnace, the only business remaining was First Time Storytelling, and Him bringing that to remembrance also showed me He initiated back in 2014 what He was calling me to do.
The Story Continues
Looking back, I can see how God was planting seeds long before I understood their purpose. He wasn’t just exposing my wrong motives—He was preparing me for something greater. He probably would have revealed this to me in the first fiery furnace He invited me into in 2016 (two years later instead of eight years later in 2022).
I’m not beating myself up or living in regret for missing what God had for me sooner. Instead, I want to highlight how good He is—how patient, merciful, and unwavering in His plans. We can take detours, resist, and make the road more difficult than it needs to be, but we cannot ruin what God has ordained. His calling stands.
Although I strayed, what started as an overwhelming desire to help a man on a bench but an inability to act has turned into a life dedicated to seeing, hearing, and truly connecting with people through personal storytelling and teaching others to do the same. First Time Storytelling wasn’t just the last business standing—it was the one God was building in me long before I even knew I needed it.
And yet, I know the work isn’t finished. The fire revealed much, but the refining has continued. I’m still learning to love as Jesus loves, to care as He cares, and to serve with the right heart. But now, I know this: God’s calling is never just about what we do—it’s about who we become. Also, what He made sure I learned so I can teach others.
And becoming takes time, fire, and surrender.